


Endings

by Thackeray1972



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 13:39:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16430444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thackeray1972/pseuds/Thackeray1972
Summary: The end of StormWeek





	Endings

Harry stood outside James’ flat watching as the storm laid waste to the courtyard destroying the wedding decorations. It was fitting really, Harry thought; after all he had just destroyed his life. He and the storm had much in common. If he was honest with himself, something he realized he had rarely managed to do lately, he could understand James’ reaction. He knew he had continuously taken James’ love for him for granted; the man was right Harry had been acting like a child, a scared child afraid to go after what he wanted. He had justified it by claiming to be putting his family first, but the truth was it was fear that had been stopping him. He realized now he had been letting fear control his life for too long; the fear of coming out, the fear of losing Ste, the fear of being rejected by his family.  
“You’re a coward,” Harry mumbled to himself, before shouting it out into the storm, “Harry Thompson is a coward!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. Suddenly he was exhausted all the emotions of the day weighing upon him. He had lost his family and the man he loved all in one fell swoop. And the worst part was he only had himself to blame. Hanging his head he looked at James’ door, every part of him wishing he was inside warm and safe in the arms of a man who had always done his best to protect him, had never turned him away, and had loved him unconditionally. The truth of what he had lost hit him like a thunder bolt, and it wasn’t Ste or the kids or even his family, it was just that unconditional love, something he had never experienced before. Sure Ste had loved him, but Harry had never come first, there was always someone else who needed Ste more. But James, James had always put Harry first even when he continually broke the other man’s heart. Harry realized he had lost himself in his relationship with Ste, having been continually dragged into Ste’s dramas. It was only with James that he had begun to get a glimpse of which he used to be and more importantly the man he could become.  
He had been so blind, clinging to this image in his head of he & Ste together forever, building a family, even when he had known deep inside it wasn’t what he wanted any more. And all this time James had been there patiently waiting for him to finally make a choice; but he had blown it. He should never have gone through with the wedding, family or not, and now he had hurt the one person who he meant more to him than anyone in the world. What if James never forgave him? What if he had lost him forever? With one last glance back Harry headed out into the storm dreading the confrontation he had known was coming with Ste & his father.  
James stood on the other side of the door, his heart pounding in his chest; as he listened to Harry beg him to open it. Every fibre of his being wanted to, wanted to take Harry into his arms and never let him go, but there was a voice in his head that stopped him, taunted him, reminding him he wasn’t Harry’s first choice. How could he have let himself believe Harry would ever truly be his? How could he have been so foolish to believe that bright, beautiful boy would want to be with him? Steeling himself he walked over to the bar and poured himself a glass downing it quickly before pouring another, he was never one to get drunk but it seemed appropriate today. He wondered briefly if Harry would go back to Ste, beg him to take him back, which he probably would, they had been on and off for so long. The thought of having to continue to see them all loved up around the village was more than James could bear. He grabbed the bottle and flung himself down on the sofa, he was going to drink this day out of his mind.  
The confrontation with Ste had been bad, he had foolishly gone around offering his condolences to Ste, but the one with his Dad broke him. His Dad had agreed with Ste that Harry should leave the village, his home. He shouldn’t be surprised Tony had always made it clear enough that he wished Ste was his son. The ironic part was if he hadn’t messed things up with James, James would have been there supporting & defending him against Ste & Tony, he had always been in Harry’s corner. A small voice inside told him to go to James now, but the thought of another rejection was too much, so Harry had grabbed his bag and headed out walking past the cleaning crews and the throw the trashed remains of his wedding day. Maybe this was a good thing, he tried to convince himself, he could use a break, get his head sorted, and then when he is ready he’ll come back and start again. He glanced over at James’ flat; he was going to give up on James either. He would become a man that James would be proud to be in a relationship with; nodding to himself he turns and leaves the village behind.


End file.
